Monday, November 10, 2008

Dance school....

I am an avid dance fan! These days I have taken to waltz, ballroom and tango. I am doing Argentine tango in one school onFridays and ballroom dance in another. I have done a little bit of salsa, but it was during a very busy period of my life so i didnt learn much.

Now I have failed to coerce, cajole or convince a girl to go with as a partner! yeah, Iknw you will all say I am not that smooth! But guess what,I get to dance with the teacher. The last two weeks, I have gotten to dance with thedance-teachers best student. Infact she told me that the dance teacher is her god-mother. The girl herself is training to be a dance teacher, dance is her passion, she actually quit college to pursue dance..blah blah! She has got the moves,looks...almost everything except that she has a Geordie accent! Hopefully I will be ableto work around that! I will find out about her beliefs later.....


Well, we have sort of struck a cord, and I talked about whether she is free so that we can get-together for coffee sometime! That was last Thursday, I got her phone number then! I gave it a few days, didnt want to call her the next daylike most guys would do!

Thing is, I called her up today..unfortunatey the phone wasnt answered and it went straight to voicemail. I wanted tol eave a message. I actually attempted..after a few minutes of recording my message, listening to it, and re-recording it..i just discovered that my voice and tone made me sound way too nervous! So i deleted the voicemail! I might cal again sometime..and will think about leavinga message!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

I googled myself!

I am sure most you guys use Facebook? Chances are that you must have heard of Compare, that Facebook application. The risky assumption I am making here is that you, dear blogger, are very media (or rather internet) savvy. Whether or not you use it is another question, after all we are bombarded with all the applications which actually ever add value to our lives, whether in monetary of entertainment value! The one thing most of these applications do is waste our time. Yet we have only 24 hours a day!

Now, the Compare application has a fine way of advertising itself. They say.......“It's a pyramid of how many people trust the people that trust you. And the people that trust them - it goes pretty far. This number also means that if you wanted to send a message or thought to the whole world, these are the people who would accept your message as trustworthy, because they have faith in people who have faith in you. Think of it as your influence and reach.”

Pyramids of trust? Bollocks. Man, that is one good trick to keep us hooked to it, especially if you have ambitions! Do not ask me what sort of ambitions, because I still need to stay alive in order to do achieve it. So I actually decided to check out how popular (or infamous)I am by doing a rough internet search about myself. I had to look for a benchmark with to compare myself. Who better than Barack Obama, well be cause for starters we have a few things in common. And he is just guy who wouldn’t mind this exercise.

So I took Googled Obama, and it yielded 163,000,000 English pages for Obama in 0.23 seconds)” Damn, the guy beat me! Google yielded 4,390 English pages for in 0.18 seconds. Wait, the playing field was not level. I used both my first name and surname. So I decided to search only my surname, and my internet popularity improved by 1073.12%. The Google search yielded 51,500 English pages in 0.18 seconds. Yeah, he still beats me there.

But guess what, I at least beat him on time! The search for me was 5 seconds faster. Damn it. Was the CIA screening my search for Obama? They went, right...who is this bloke? What is the IP address of his laptop? Right, what does he want with our President. OK,he can goon...and by the time they answered all these questions, 5 precious seconds had gone by!!

Friday, October 31, 2008

Ratios:A lesson in maths!

It’s amazing what ladies want! That movie “What Women Want “in which Mel Gibson starred in was quite a classic. I mean the title was confusing enough; you would dash to watch because you think it would help you sort out all the mystery. But when you go to the cinema, with a knowing smile on your face, thinking...”maybe, just maybe this time...”, and alas, you get disappointed...like you do when you watch many of the current movies!

On a rather random note, I am going for a potential date on Sunday to watch the new James Bond movie, Quantum ofSolace, and am hoping she says she will inform me tomorrow, but somehow I think she will say yes! My my gut feeling is that it is over rated and over hyped..like most things with a British link!

Anyway, whenever you ask the ladies what it is that attracts them to men, they have all sorts of answers. The legs, eyes, the way he walks...well, nowadays...even the size of the wallet if a big deal! Nevertheless, the answers are as diverse as they are weird! Long gone are the days of true love. Broke guys like me are in shit!!
But there is one thing that most Ugandan girls all agree on is one thing, that the dude has got to be “tall, dark and handsome” () Is it possible for the guy to be tall, dark and un-handsome??

Now, we guys from the North have always had an edge when it comes to the tall, dark and handsome bit!! In this respect, the playing field has always been to our advantage! But there is one thing, one area where we have always fallen short!
Now just one thing....now we guys do not need you to tell us that our accent is kinda-not-so-cool!! Well, a little bit off the mark! But this is an area that we have always worked around, with some effort, and probably exposure! I know we the Okellos of the world know that we have got all...almost everything in place!! Pull your chair closer, and let me narrate to you a story!

I had a maths teacher in my early days in secondary school. He was a brilliant man, by any standards! Thinking back, I still wonder why he didn’t end up in NASA, or even ended up teaching rich kids in then Mpigi or Mukono if all options had run out! Well, perhaps he was inspired more by love for his nation of his land than by anything else! There are only a few good men remaining!

In one class, he was teaching the topic of RATIOS. And he had to use an illustration to drive the point home. He used two guys Ochibo (pronounced as Ochibo, with an “h”) and Ochora an example. This is what he says, or rather this is what I heard “If Osibo and Osora are to sare mangos in the rasio of sree to sree, Osibo will not seat Osora and Osora will not seat Osibo. They will get equal sares”

Until, we get our act together and learn how to deal with words that have “ch”or “sh” in their pronunciations we still have a long way to go!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Famous quotes!!!

This is one of the greatest quotes to ever emerge from the annals of criminal court history....right here in our backyard!!! Who said these words??

“We submit that this whole case is and was a fabrication from beginning to end, calculated to embarrass KB. This sad case was born in the deluded mind of Ms JK, it was nurtured and developed in SH. It was cooked to imperfection in the DIC of the UP. It was presented into full inadequacy by the DepDPP. Now it’s courts time to dismiss it.”

Friday, September 19, 2008

No FB!

1) I just started workin on Monday. And that was after i had handed in my dissertation on Fri. And that was after flexing for 3 months..well, just more than one month,...with optmisation and simulations!

2) Being a gud company that it is, almots all sites are blocked..including Facebook. You try to access any of teh sites, I am starkly warned...ACCESS DENIED!
So i guess am not paid to surf FB, chat onlie,or even check mail!! That does not mean i have been paid yet, coz am only five days old)

Man, life is tight. So i need a house that has got internet in it.
Ok, i better sign out, lest i be found blogging....else I am forever screwed!! Did i just hear the door opening..????

No FB!

1) I just started workin on Monday. And that was after i had handed in my dissertation on Fri. And that was after flexing for 3 months..well, just more than one month,...with optmisation and simulations!

2) Being a gud company that it is, almots all sites are blocked..including Facebook. You try to access any of teh sites, I am starkly warned...ACCESS DENIED!
So i guess am not paid to surf FB, chat onlie,or even check mail!! That does not mean i have been paid yet, coz am only five days old)

Man, life is tight. So i need a house that has got internet in it.
Ok, i better sign out, lest i be found blogging....else I am forever screwed!! damn, did i hear the door just open...am outta here!!

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Reader's block...

Damn,I realised the previous posts are only 7 parts, i had originally intended it to be 12 parts...u know just because it sounds nice..12parts!

But then, hey, some one told me 7 is the perfectnumber! Iam not sure i beleive it, but if it works for me, why not!

First of all, I am going to bet my money! No one will actually one full particle....from any of those 7 parts!! Because they are too long!

But I wont remove it. It will sort of standthere staring in all y'all faces! A big mountain you cant climb! Reader's block or som' like that!

Let me be nice, I have attached her a youtubelink tothe same message! Its froma christian, attacking modern christianity..you know the name it and claim it stuff! The "God wants tomake you healthy, wealthy" stuff. I do not buyinto any of that nonsense! IthinkGod has some other priorities!!

But if you dont wanna go through all the reading....since there are more interesting blogs out there to visit! Just go to the Youtube link below and just listen. If you hate Youtube,am not sure who does, thenyou can go here.

Shocking Message-Part 7

Let’s get down. What does the Word of God say? How does your life stand in front of that blazing fire which is the holiness of God on that final day? Beloved, precious little girl, beloved, precious young man, on that final day will your confession hold true? Are you saved? And I’m not talking about, “Well, I think I’m saved.” You know, there’s a way that seems right unto a man, but it leads unto death.

“Well, I feel in my heart of my hearts that I’m saved.” Well, let me ask you a question. Did you
ever read that the heart is deceitfully wicked; who can know it? Shouldn’t you go to the
testimony of Scripture?

“Well, I know I’m saved because my mom, my dad, my pastor, everybody else told me I was
saved.” Well, I’m telling you this. What does the Word of God tell you?

We talk so much about being radical Christians. Radical Christians are not people who jump at
concerts. Radical Christians are not people who wear Christian tee shirts. Radical Christians are
those who bear the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Radical Christians are those who reverence and
honor their parents even when they feel like their parents are wrong. Radical Christians are
those who do not––now listen to me. This is going to make you mad, and I’m talking to boys
and girls. Radical Christians are those who do not dress sensually in order to show off their
bodies. If your clothing is a frame for your face, God is pleased with your clothing. If your
clothing is a frame for your body, it’s sensual and God hates what you’re doing. Everybody
wants to talk about a prophet, but no one wants to listen to one.

I’m talking about Christianity. I have spent my life in jungles. I have spent my life freezing in
the Andes Mountains. I have seen people die. A little boy, Andrew Myman [phonetic], the
Muslims shot him five times through the stomach and left him on a sidewalk simply because he
cried out, “I am so afraid but I cannot deny Jesus Christ. Please don’t kill me, but I will not deny
Him.” And he died in a pool of blood. And you talk about being a radical Christian because you
wear a tee shirt, because you go to a conference. I’m talking about holiness. I’m talking about
Godliness.

I wish––you know what a move of God would be in this place? If all of you came under conviction, if I myself came under conviction of the Holy Spirit, we fell down on our faces and
wept because we watch the things that God hates, because we wear the things that God hates,
because we act like the world, look like the world, smell like the world, because we do the very
things, and we know not that we do these things, because we do not know the Word of God.
Because, even though we claim as a denomination that the Scripture is the infallible Word of God, basically all we get is illustrations, stories, and quaint little novels. Oh, that God will glow
on this place, that we would turn away from our sin, that we would renounce the things that are
displeasing to God, and, then, that we would run to Him and we would relish Him and we would
love Him.

Oh, that God would raise up missionaries. I don’t wish the same things your parents want for
you. They want for you security and insurance and nice homes. They want for you cars and
respect. I want for you the same thing I want for my son, that one day he takes a banner, the
banner of Jesus Christ, and he places it on a hill where no one has ever placed a banner before,
and he cries out, “Jesus Christ is Lord,” even if it costs my son his life. Oh, when he’s 18 years
old, if he says to me the same thing I said when I was a young man, “I’m going into the
mountains. I’m going into the jungle.” And they said, “You can’t go there. You’re insane. It’s
a war. You’re gonna die.” I’m going. When that little boy puts on that backpack, I’m going to
pray over him and say, “Go! God be with you, and if you die, my son, I’ll see you over there and
I’ll honor your death.”

Oh, God, let’s pray, let’s pray.

Oh, God, I don’t care about reputation. I don’t care what men think. I want You to be honored.
I want these young people to be saved. I want those that are saved to stop looking around at a
cultural Christianity that You hate and will spew out of Your mouth, and that they will look at
the Word of God and say, “I will follow Jesus.”

Oh, God, I pray for youth ministers and pastors and I pray that You’d fill them with the spirit of
wisdom and love and boldness and discernment. And dear God, whatever the cost, I pray that
you will raise up missionaries. I can’t help but look at these kids and think of my own little boy.
Oh, God, that You would save Ian and that You would raise him up and send him into the worst
part of the battle. Oh, dear God, raise up missionaries here. Raise up missionaries. Raise up
preachers and pastors and reachers and evangelists that know the Word of God. Oh, God, work
in this place, please work in this place, dear God. Please. Please. Please. Please.

Now with every head bowed, is there anyone here tonight that would say, “Brother Paul, I have
been living a lie. I claim to be a Christian but I love the world, and I look like it and smell like it
and I hate myself for it, and, Brother Paul, I am so tired of this Christianity that I’m living. I’m
just sick of it. I’m just sick of it. I want to be saved. I want to be saved.” I just want you to stand up. “Brother Paul, I want to be saved.” Amen. Is there anyone else? Amen. Amen.

In a moment, we’re going to have an invitation. Those of you who stood up––I’m going to come
down here and I want you to meet with me. I want to talk to you. Now, you may be seated,
thank you.

Now, I want to talk to those of you who claim to be Christians. Does your life honor Jesus
Christ? Are you looking in His Word to find out how you’re supposed to live? I pray with all
my heart, the only thing that’s going to save the church in America, there’s only two
possibilities. One is a total reformation in our preaching and our study of the Word of God, and
the other is fierce, horrifying persecution. That’s the only thing that’s going to save the church
in America. Oh, I pray, I pray that you would return to the Word. I pray––listen to me, young
person. You need to know. You need to say, “Okay, how am I supposed to live before my
parents?” Go into the Word, find out, obey it. “How am I supposed to dress?” Go into the
Word, find out, obey it. “How am I supposed to talk?” “What am I supposed to listen to?”
Bring every thought, word, and deed into subjection to Jesus Christ.

Now, I’m not going to ask you to stand because I am so tired of people coming forward and
making those commitments, and those commitments last them two minutes. I’m not here so I
can write up in my magazine that a gazillion of you came forward. I want you to go home and I
want you to live for Jesus Christ with all your heart. But if you need counseling, you say,
“Brother Paul, I want to––I want to live for Jesus Christ. I don’t know how. I don’t know how.”
In a minute, we’re going to give an invitation, and I do want you to come forward, not to make a
commitment. You want to make a commitment, you make that commitment right where you’re
seated. If you need to tell somebody, you go tell your pastor. You go tell your youth minister,
and you know what, we’ll know if that commitment lasts. You know how? Because it will last,
we’ll know if it’s from God.

Let me tell you something. For everyone who’s here right now, I want to tell you something. If
you made a decision to follow Jesus Christ, if you made a decision to get saved in these last two
days, I want to tell you something. If it was genuine, it will last. If after a few weeks you go
right back into the world, live like the world, act like the world, I want you to know something,
you didn’t get anything here this weekend. You got emotion, that’s about it. If you really got
something from the Lord, I want you to know something, it will last. And even if you try to run
away from it, you won’t be able to do it. You won’t be able to do it. Oh, I love you so much. I
love you so much.

I would ask that we all stand. If you need counseling about a decision that you have made but
it’s not clear, I want you to come forward. And I’m going to come right down here. Those of
you who stood up––there were many of you over there who say, “I need to know Jesus Christ,” I want to come down here right now and I want to meet with you, and I want to go back over here with you and some other counselors and I want to talk to you. And I want to tell you something, not a five-minute deal, not a ten-minute deal. If you need to talk all night, we will stay. That is the attitude of every counselor in this place. We will stay all night if necessary, all night. God love you. God love you. Let me pray for you.

Dear God, please, Lord, there has been so much movement. Last night, Lord, I don’t know how
much of it was real, and I know that I saw people last night weeping. I saw people trying to
make commitments, and I believe that there was a great deal of what happened last night because of You. I saw this morning a young man preach, Father, give his testimony, and I saw real working of the Holy Spirit. I don’t know how much of all the decisions were real, but there was real things going on. I pray right now, Father, I don’t know how much will be real. Only time
and eternity will show us that. But, oh, dear God, please, please, work, in Jesus’ name. Amen.



To download a high quality MP3 of this message go to:
http://upp.mypodcast.com/2007/05/Shocking_Youth_Message_by_Paul_Washer_Stuns_5000_Hearers_
So_Biblical_He_Was_Never_Invited_Back-15280.html


You may download the audio (low quality MP3) or video (good quality WMV) to this sermon here:
http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=52906154239

Shocking Message-Part 6

You say, “Oh, you’re talking about works.” No, I’m not. I’m talking about evidence of faith, and it goes like this. Your profession of faith is no proof that you’re born again because everybody in this whole country professes faith in Jesus Christ. Barnard tells us that 65 to 70 percent of all Americans are saved, born-again Christians. The most Godless country on the face of the earth. Kill 4,000 babies a day but, bless God, 70 percent of us are born again. How do you know that the faith you have is not false? A style of life that is concerned about doing the will of the Father, that practices the will of the Father, and when you disobey the will of the Father, the Holy Spirit comes and reprimands you either personally through the written Word of God or through a brother or sister in Christ, and God puts you back on the path again. If you’re a genuine Christian, you cannot escape Him.

Let me give you an example. If I was your pastor and you were, let’s say, 14 years old and I came back from preaching at one o’clock in the morning and I saw you standing out there in a
park or on a corner with a bunch of hoodlums, doing things you shouldn’t be doing and you’re a
member of our church, I would tell you, “Get in the car.” I would take you home to your father.
I wouldn’t be mad at you. I’d be mad at your father. I would tell him, “Sir, you are a derelict
father that you would allow your child to be out in such circumstances.”

I want you to know something. God is not a derelict father. If you can play around in sin, if you
can love the world and love the things of the world, if you can always be involved in the world
and doing things of the world, if your heroes are worldly people, if you want to look like them
and act like them, if you practice the same things they practice, oh my dear friend, listen to my
voice. There’s a good chance you know not God, and you do not belong to him.

Now, we bring this to a close, verse 22: Many will say to me on that day, Lord, Lord, did we not
prophesy in your name, and in your name cast out demons, and in your name perform many
miracles. Then I will declare to them, I never knew you.

You say the most important thing on the face of the earth is to know Jesus Christ. That is not
true. The most important thing on the face of the earth is that Jesus Christ knows you. I’m not
going to get into the White House tomorrow because I walk up to the gate and tell everybody I
know George Bush, but they will let me in if George Bush comes out and says, “I know Paul
Washer.”

You can profess to know Jesus, but my question for you . . . do you know Jesus? Does Jesus know you? And look how he describes the lost man here. He said, Depart from me you who
practice lawlessness. In Greek, anomia––a negative particle, a, “not”; word nomos, “law”––“no
law.” And this is what it means. Let me give you an accurate translation of this. Depart from
me––Listen to me, if I could come out there and hug you while I was telling you this, I would.
Listen to me. He says, Depart from me those of you who claim to be my disciples who confessed
me as Lord and, yet, you live as though I never gave you a law to obey.

I just described a great majority of North American Christianity. If anyone starts talking about
law, if anyone starts talking about Biblical principles on what we’re supposed to do and not
supposed to do, how we’re to live and not supposed to live, everyone starts screaming,
“Legalist.” But Jesus said, Depart from me those of you who live––you called me Lord, but you
lived as though I had never given a law.

In American Christianity today, pass through the gate. Praise God. Live like the rest of the
world and it’s okay. You’re just carnal. Maybe one day you’ll come back. Do you know what
happens because of our bad evangelism? We have gazillions of children saved in vacation Bible
school, and when they hit 15 years old, they enter into the world and live like demons, a great
majority of them. And then when they’re around 30, they come back and rededicate their life.
Maybe they just got saved. Because, folks, it’s more than just telling someone you’re saved
because you acknowledged that Jesus is Lord. Satan acknowledges that Jesus is Lord. Is your
life in a process of change?

And then He drops down and He talks about two people––two foundations. Do you know what
this passage in contemporary . . . See it’s important to study theology and it’s important to study
history. The contemporary interpretation of this passage about the rock and the sand is basically
like this. If you’re a Christian, you need to build your life upon the rock because, if you build
your life upon the sand, you’ll be an unhappy Christian and your life won’t go right. That is not
what Jesus is teaching and history backs me up on it. It was hardly ever interpreted that way.
Do you know what the interpretation is? It goes like this.

There are two ways. There’s a narrow way and a broad way. Which one are you on? There are
two types of trees. There is a good tree that bears good fruit, and it’s going to Heaven. There’s a
bad tree and you know it’s bad because it bears bad fruit, and it’s going to hell. It’s going to be
cut down and thrown into the fire. There are those who profess Jesus is Lord and they do the
will of the Father who is in heaven, and there are those who profess Jesus Christ is Lord and they do not do the will of the Father who is in heaven, and they go to hell––not because of a lack of works, but because of a lack of faith demonstrated by the fact that they had no works.

And then he goes on. He says, not two Christians building their house on two different
foundations. No. This is a saved man and a lost man. The lost man hears the Word of God
preached but he lays no foundation. You cannot see in any way in his life how the Word of God is forming and building and sustaining his life. His life is not––how many people in the Southern Baptist Convention, regardless of all our numbers, regardless of everything we say, if we were to simply take this passage and compare the people to this passage and say––Are you building your marriage on the Word of God? Are you raising your children on the Word of God? Are you doing your finances on the Word of God? Are you living, separating yourself from the things of this world based upon the Word of God? How many would be able to answer positively?

No, none of that. “I profess Jesus. He’s my Savior. My Sunday school teacher told me so.” Oh. I know, like Leonard Ravenhill, an acquaintance of mine before he passed on, used to say, “I preach in a lot of Baptist churches once.” I preach in a lot of places like this once. I could have got up here today with a vocabulary that would have astounded you and preached you things that would have lifted you up and floated you around this room. I could have told you stories that would have made you laugh and stories about dogs and grandmas that would have made you cry, but I love you too much for that. I know . . . I know, because the Word of God is true, that there are people who believe themselves to be saved and they are no more saved. They’re not.

I know that there are some of you who look around and you think, “Well, I’m saved. I mean,
look, I look like everybody else in my youth group.” What makes you think your youth group is
saved? “Well, I’m like my parents”; or, “I’m like the adults in my church or the deacon or the
pastor.” What does that matter? You won’t be judged by them on the day of His coming. My
question for you, beloved, my question for you, little child––I mean, you could be my children,
and I pray someday when my little boy grows that there will be a preacher who will stand before
him and say, “Enough of this!”

Shocking Message-Part 5

Listen to me. If everyone in this town believes themselves saved, and we know that’s not true by Scripture because the Bible says that few will enter in, how do you know that you’re saved?
How do you truly know that you are saved? Because someone told you? Because you prayed a
prayer? Because you believed? Well, let me ask you a question. How do you know you believed? Because everybody says they believe. How do you know you’re not like them? Do you know how the Bible teaches you that you know you are saved? Do you know how Baptist theology, up until about 50 years ago, would have told you how you know you have been saved? You know you have been saved because your life is in the process of being changed, and your style of life is one of walking in the paths of God’s truth.

And when you step off those paths in disobedience, as we all do, God comes for you and puts you back on the path. One of the greatest evidences that you have truly been born again is that God will not let you talk as your flesh might want to talk. God will not let you dress as the sensual world and the sensual church allows you to dress. God will not allow you to act like the world, smell like the world, speak like the world, listen to the things that the world listens to. God will make a difference in your life.

He says here, as we go on, verse 16: You will know them by their fruits. How will you know a false prophet? In the wider application here and all of Scripture, how will you know if someone is a genuine Christian? By their fruit. By their fruit, my dear friend. Look at your life. Look at the way you walk. Look at the way you talk. Look at the passions of your heart. Is Jesus in there somewhere? Or is He just some accessory that you add on to your life? Is He just something that you do on Wednesday or Sunday? Is He something that you give a mental assent to? Is He an accessory or is He the very center of your life? And what is the fruit that you’re bearing? Do you look like the world? Act like the world? Do you have and experience the same joys that the world experiences? Can you love sin and relish it? Can you love rebellion and relish it? Then you know not God. You will know them by their fruit. God has the power to change them.

Let’s imagine for a moment Jesus teaching this passage, and you’re sitting out there listening.
And He looks at you. He says, “Thistles, thistles. Do you find thistles on fig trees?”

And you respond, “Of course not, Jesus. I mean, you’re not an agriculturalist; you’re not a
farmer. I mean, you’re a carpenter. But everybody knows, Jesus, you don’t find thorns on fig
trees.”

“Well, then, let me ask you another question. Do you find figs––good fruit––on thorn trees?”

“Why, no, Jesus. That’s absolutely ludicrous. I mean, you’re never gonna find thorns on a fig
tree, and you’re not gonna find figs on a thorn tree, Jesus. To say that could be possible––anyone who tells you that, Jesus, you can mark it down . . . they’re either crazy or they’re a liar.”
And then Jesus responds to you. “Well then, those who call themselves my disciples and bear
bad fruit, would not it be the same to say that they were either lying or out of their mind to make such a statement?”

Let me take it a little further. Let’s imagine that I show up late and I run up here on the platform, and all the leaders are angry with me and say, “Brother Paul, don’t you appreciate the fact you’re given an opportunity to speak here and you come late?”

And I’d say, “Brothers, you have to forgive me.”

“Well, why?”

“Well, I was out here on the highway, and I was driving and I had a flat tire and I got out to change the tire, and when I was changing the tire, the lug nut fell off, and I wasn’t paying
attention that I was on the highway and I ran out and I grabbed the lug nut, and as soon as I
picked it up in the middle of the highway, I stood up and there was a 30-ton logging truck going
120 miles an hour about ten yards in front of me, and it ran me over and that’s why I’m late.”
Now, there would only be two . . . I know no one studies logic anymore, but there would only be
two logical conclusions. One, I’m a liar or, two, I’m a madman. You would say, “Brother Paul,
it’s absolutely absurd. It is impossible, Brother Paul, to have an encounter with something as
large as a logging truck and not be changed.”

And then my question would be to you––What is larger? A logging truck or God? How is it that
so many people today profess to have had an encounter with Jesus Christ, and, yet, they are not
permanently changed? Let me give you a few things to think about. You know I’m telling you the truth. How many times do you go and rededicate your life over and over and over again? How many times do youth groups go to things like this and get fired up and go back to the
church, and it lasts about a week and a half? And yet, “Oh, it was a great move of God.” No, it
wasn’t. If it doesn’t last, it wasn’t a great move of God. It was emotion. It was so many things,
but it wasn’t a great move of God. Has God worked in your life? Is God working in your life?
You will know them by their fruit. You will know them by their fruit.

Now, we go on, verse 19: Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into
the fire so you will know them by their fruit. Look at this. You need to understand something
about Hebrew literature. When you and I want to emphasize something, do you know what we
do? We raise our voice. If we’re writing, we put it in bold letters, or we capitalize it. But to a Jew, it’s different. When he wants to emphasize something, he repeats it and he repeats it.

That’s why you find Hebrew parallelisms in the Book of Proverbs. The wicked shall not live in the land. The wicked shall be destroyed. He’s saying the same thing, just in a different way to
give greater emphasis. That’s what Jesus is doing over and over again here. You will know them
by their fruit. You will know them by their fruit. You will know them by the path that they walk
in. You will know them by their fruit. You will know them by their fruit. And He says, Anyone
who does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. What is He talking about? My dear friend, He is talking about the judgment of Almighty God that will one day fall upon the
world, that will one day fall possibly upon you.

Oh dear friend, I cannot look into your heart. I am so easily deceived by my own heart, but there is One who is not deceived. There is One who is not deceived, and He is not deceived by a
contemporary Christian culture. He knows. You will know them by their fruit.

And He goes on and He says this, verse 21: Not everyone who says to me, Lord, Lord, will enter
the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my father who is in heaven will enter. Do you know what your profession of faith in Jesus Christ is worth? Absolutely nothing. Yes. Did you read that passage? Study it. Not everyone who comes to me and says, Lord, Lord . . . not everyone who professes, Lord, Lord, will enter into the kingdom of heaven. There are many
people who are going to profess, “Lord, Lord,” but they are not going to enter into the kingdom
of heaven. My dear precious child, are you one of them? “Lord, Lord.”

Now, again, let’s go back to Hebrew literature. He said, Lord, Lord. He didn’t say, Lord. What
does that mean? This fellow who is making this profession, he is not someone who just all of a
sudden decided, “It’s judgment and I better profess Him to be Lord.” This is a person who
emphatically declares to other people that Jesus Christ is Lord. He walks around saying, “Lord.”
He dances up in front while the musicians are playing, saying, “Lord.” He sings the songs,
“Lord.” But Jesus said to him, Depart from me. I never knew you.

Do you know, Billy Graham is one of the kindest, lovingest men; yet, Billy Graham has said he
believed that a great majority of people who attend Bible-believing churches are lost. He said
that he would be happy if even five percent of all the people who made professions of faith in his
campaigns are even saved.

When I’m in Nigeria . . . I was there last year visiting a mother whose son was in our church and
was martyred by the Muslims. In Northern Nigeria, when someone professes faith in Jesus
Christ, you pretty much know they can die because of that profession. But in America, oh,
consider the cost. Think. Examine your life in light of Scripture. Do you know the Lord? Do you know the Lord? Because not everyone who says to him, “Lord, Lord,” will enter the kingdom of Heaven, but what does it say here? Look what it says. Not everyone who says to me, Lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.

What is the sign that someone has become a genuine Christian? I wish that we would start
teaching this again. What happened to our theology? What happened to our doctrine? What
happened to our teaching? It went right out the window. No one wants to study doctrine
anymore. They just want to listen to songs and read the back of Christian tee shirts. What
happened to truth? Truth tells you this. The evidence––the way that you can have assurance that you are genuinely a born-again Christian––is that you do, as a style of life, the will of the Father.

Shocking Message-Part 4

Book after book is being churned out by theologian and philosopher and sociologist alike. What
has happened to the church? We find out that abortion in the church is just as prevalent as
outside in the world. We find that divorce is just as prevalent. We find that immorality . . . you
know as well as I do, there are youth here right now who are practicing immorality and yet
worshiping God in the same breath. You know there are youth here that are doing drugs and yet
coming to youth group. You know, watching and doing things that are not appropriate for a
Christian, and yet they’re coming to the youth group, believing themselves satisfied, believing
themselves saved, and no one is saying anything except this: They’re carnal Christians. They’re
really Christians; they’re just carnal. That was a doctrine that started in a Baptist seminary, that
is not a Southern Baptist seminary, several decades ago. It is not biblical and it is not historical.
My dear friend, there is no such thing as a carnal Christian.

You say, “Now, wait a minute, Brother Paul. First Corinthians chapter 3, Are ye not carnal.
Paul said that.”
No, that’s what Paul said. You need to read the whole book to find out what he meant. You see,one of our problems, youth, listen to me . . . most of our Christianity is based on clichés that we read on the back of Christian tee shirts. Most of our Christianity comes from songwriters and not the Bible. Most of what we believe is dictated to us through our culture and not by the Bible.
The Bible never teaches that a person can be a genuine Christian and live in continuous carnality
and wickedness and sin all the days of their life. But the Bible teaches that the genuine Christian
has been given a new nature. The genuine Christian has a Father who loves them and disciplines
them and watches over them and cares for them.

My heart is breaking because you know as well as I do, young people, let’s not be hypocrites
about it. Let’s not hide it. There are so many. You know them. You might be one of them, or
you at least know that they’re in your youth group. They come to youth group. They do all this
stuff, but in their heart, they’re as wicked as wicked can be. There is no difference. There is no
light. Everything that the world does, they do, and it’s appropriate; it’s okay. My friend, that’s not Christianity. They’re not in danger of losing their reward. They’re in danger of hell. They
know not God.

What don’t we teach? When was the last time you heard someone say there’s not only a narrow
gate into Heaven but a narrow way? Jesus indicates that one of the principal signs of being a
genuine Christian is that you walk in the narrow way. Do you know what the sign for being a
genuine Christian in America is? You prayed a prayer one time. Isn’t that amazing? What are
you asked if you doubt your salvation? Did you pray a prayer one time? What does Scripture
teach? Examine yourselves. Test yourselves in the light of Scripture to see if you’re in the path,
because a Christian will be different.

Now, am I saying that a Christian is without sin? No, because, in First John, we learn that Christians do sin, and if any man does not acknowledge his sin, he knows not God. He’s not walking in the light? So what is the difference? What am I really getting at? What I am getting
at is this. If you are genuinely a born-again Christian, a child of God, you will walk in the way
of righteousness as a style of life. And if you step off that path of righteousness, the Father will
come for you. He will discipline you. He will put you back on that path. But if you profess to have gone through the narrow gate, but yet you live in the broad way, just like all the other people in your high school, just like all the other people who are carnal and wicked, the Bible wants you to know that you should be terribly, terribly afraid because you know not God.

I fear men who have spent most of their life telling other men that they are saved. I fear you if
you’ve done that. You don’t tell men they are saved; you tell men how to be saved. God tells
them they are saved. What we have forgotten to believe is that salvation is a supernatural work
of God, and those who have genuinely been converted, regenerated by the power of the Holy
Spirit is going to be a new creature. The Bible says, If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature. So we find out here in Scripture that there is a narrow gate and a narrow way.

We go into verse 15. Beware of false prophets who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly
are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. One of the things you need to realize is
this––something a wise man told me a long time ago. He said, “Paul, your best friend is the one
who tells you the most truth.” In America, we have become so thin-skinned that no one can rebuke us. No one can tell us we are wrong. And ministers and leaders alike have bought into
this lie. We do not want to offend. We want to be seeker friendly. What you need to realize is there is only one seeker and His name is God, and if you want to be friendly to someone in your
church, you need to be friendly to God. And you need to be more concerned for the glory of God than you are for the attitudes of men. But another thing you need to realize is the person who loves you the most will tell you the most truth.

One of the greatest distinguishing marks of a false prophet is that he will always tell you what
you want to hear. He will never rain on your parade. He will get you clapping. He will get you
jumping. He will make you dizzy. He will keep you entertained, and he will present a
Christianity to you that will make your church look like a Six Flags over Jesus and keep you so
entertained you are never addressed with great issues such as these. Is God working in my life?
Am I growing in holiness? Have I truly been born again?

Shocking Message-Part 3

And you know, historically––one of the reasons I’m a Southern Baptist is that the Southern
Baptists have always been quick––when other denominations have failed to realize this––the
Southern Baptists have always been quick to realize that there is one gate; there is one God; there is one mediator between God and man; and His name is Jesus Christ. It’s not multiple choice. Not every road leads to Rome. As a denomination, we have always told people what Jesus told people: I am the way, the truth, and the life, and no one comes to the Father except through me.

So, I praise God for that, that the only way any human being on this earth will ever be saved is through Jesus Christ, and that is all. Because you need to realize the Bible says, For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God, and you have no idea what that means, that we were born radically depraved and God hating, that we would have never sought God, never come to God. We have rebelled against God, broken every law. It’s not just an issue that you have sinned. The issue is you’ve never done anything but sinned. The Bible says in the prophets that even our greatest works are like filthy rags before God. And because of that, you know what we deserve? The wrath of God. The holy hatred of God.


You say, “Now, wait a minute. God doesn’t hate anybody. God is love.” No, my friend. You
need to understand something. Jesus Christ taught, the prophets taught, the apostles taught this
—that apart from the grace of God revealed in Jesus Christ our Lord, the only thing left for you
is the wrath, the fierce anger of God because of your rebellion and your sin.

When I speak in universities, they’re always quick to point out, “No, God cannot hate because
God is love.” And I tell you God must hate because God is love. You see, I love children;
therefore, I hate abortion. If I love that which is holy, I must hate that which is unholy. God is a
holy God. That’s something that the Americans have forgotten. Many of the things that you
love to do, God hates. Did you know that?

Pray for revival. You’re going to have a youth meeting; you want God to move, but before you
go there you watch programs on television that God absolutely despises. And then you wonder
why the Holy Spirit hasn’t fallen on a place and why you have to create false fire and false
excitement. Because God’s not in it. God is a holy God and the only way you and I could ever
be reconciled to a holy God is through the death of God’s own Son when He hung on that tree.

Now listen to me, if you’re saved here tonight, you’re not saved because the Romans and Jews
rejected Jesus. You’re not saved because they put a crown of thorns on His head. You’re not
saved because they ran a spear through His side, and you’re not saved even because they nailed
Him to a cross. Do you know why you’re saved if you are saved? Because when Jesus Christ
was hanging on that cross, He bore your sin. The sin of God’s people and all the fierce wrath of
God that should fall upon you fell upon His only begotten Son. Someone had to pay that price.
Someone had to die. It was God the Father who crushed His only begotten Son. According to
Isaiah 53, it says, It pleased Yahweh to crush Him.

People say the cross is a sign of how much man is worth. That’s not true. The cross is a sign of
how depraved we really are, that it took the death of God’s own Son. The only thing that could
save a people like us was the death of God’s own Son under the wrath of His own Father paying
the price, rising again from the dead. Powerful to say, this is the Gospel of Jesus.

Now what are you called upon to do? You say you go through the narrow gate. How do you do
that? Jesus said, The time is fulfilled. The Kingdom of God is at hand. What must you do? In
Mark, He tells us . . . repent and believe the Gospel.

You say, “Brother Paul, I got saved by praying and asking Jesus Christ into my heart.” And I’m
sure you did, but you weren’t saved by a magic formula or some words you repeated after
someone else. You were saved because you repented of your sins and you believed, and not only
did you do that in the past, you continued to do it even until now, because when Jesus . . . a
proper translation of that verse He gave is this: The Kingdom of God is come. The time is
fulfilled. Now, spend the rest of your lives repenting of your sins and believing in Me.


Conversion is not like a flu shot. “Oh, I did that. I repented. I believed.” The question is my
friend––are you continuing to repent of sin? Are you continuing to believe? Because He who
began a good work in you will finish it. He will finish it.

Now, we as Southern Baptists preach that you’re supposed to go through that one and only gate
which is Jesus Christ. But we as Southern Baptists have forgotten something. And I want youth
ministers and pastors and everyone to listen to me, parents, we have forgotten a very important
teaching in the Gospel. It says that, not only the gate is narrow, it says the path is narrow. What
we basically do is lead someone to Christ, lead someone in a prayer and then they spend the rest
of their life living just like the world, and if you deny me on this, I can bring the statistics to
prove you wrong. Gallup poll, Barnard polls, every kind of poll you can possibly look at, when
it questions the morality of the church in America against the morality of those who claim to be
lost in America, the polls find no difference. Now that is statistics. It has nothing to do with
religious interpretation. Those are statistics.

Shocking Message-Part 2

I want you to know that the greatest heresy in the American evangelical and protestant church is
that, if you pray and ask Jesus Christ to come into your heart, He will definitely come in. You
will not find that in any place in Scripture. You will not find that anywhere in Baptist history
until about 50 years ago. What you need to know is that salvation is by faith and faith alone in
Jesus Christ. And faith alone in Jesus Christ is preceded and followed by repentance . . . a
turning away from sin, a hatred for the things that God hates and a love for the things that God
loves, a growing in holiness and a desire not to be like Britney Spears, not to be like the world,
and not to be like the great majority of American Christians, but to be like Jesus Christ!

[The audience then erupts in applause].


I don’t know why you’re clapping. I’m talking about you. I didn’t come here to get amens. I didn’t come here to be applauded. I’m talking about you.
People so many times come up to me and say, “Oh, I’d love to follow you into Romania”; “I’d love to follow you into the Ukraine”; “I’d love to preach where you preached and planted churches in Peru in the jungle.”

And I tell them, “No, you wouldn’t.”
They say, “Yes, I would.”
I say, “No, you wouldn’t.”
“Why?”
“Because you’d be excommunicated from the church down there.”
What we need to see . . . I’m not trying to be hard for the sake of being hard. Do you realize how much love it takes to stand before 5,000 people and tell them that American Christianity is almost totally wrong? Do you know what it’s going to cost me to never be asked back again to something like this? To be unpopular? Do you know why you do it? You don’t do it because you get paid well. You don’t do it because men love you. You do it because you love men and because, more than that, you want to honor God.

I want to tell you something. We’re going to go into Scripture, and I want you to look at it as it really is. It’s not comparing yourself with others who call themselves Christians. Compare yourself to the Scripture. When someone, a young person, comes to a pastor or a youth minister and says, “I’m not sure whether or not I’m saved,” the youth minister will usually throw out a cliché: “Well, was there ever a time in your life when you prayed and asked Jesus to come into your heart?”


“Well, yes.”

“Were you sincere?”

“Well, I don’t know, but I think so.”

“Well, you need to tell Satan to stop bothering you. Did you write it in the back of your book . . . the back of your Bible like the evangelist told you when you got saved, write down the date so that any time you doubted you could point him to the Bible?”

What superstition has overcome our denomination? Do you know what the Bible tells Christians to do? Examine yourself. Test yourself in light of Scripture to see if you are in the faith. Test yourself to see if you’re a Christian.

Do you realize if I dismissed us right now and told everyone to go knock on every door in this city, do you know what we would find out? Ninety-nine percent of the people, at least, in this city believe themselves to be believers. If you go back to your hometown and knock on every door . . . because I went back to my hometown after I got saved and knocked on every door, and you know what I found out? Everyone in my town is a Christian. Eighty-five percent of them do not go to church, and those who do go to church are not concerned about holiness. They’re not concerned about serving. They’re not concerned about being separate from the world. They’re not concerned about the Gospel being preached among the nations. But, bless God, they’re saved.

Why are they saved? Because some evangelist who should have spent less time preaching and
more time studying his Bible told them they were saved, and he did it so he could brag about
how many came forward in his next revival.

I love you, and there are men here who love you. And I want to go into Scripture now, now that
I’ve shocked you into light. I want you to listen to me. Listen to the Word of God and begin to
ask yourself some questions. First of all, Enter through the narrow gate for the gate is wide and
the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. There is a
narrow gate.

Shocking Message-Part 1

Paul Washer


It’s a tremendous privilege for me to be here this afternoon with you. Before we begin with any further speaking, I would also like to go to the Lord in prayer. I would ask you to pray. There is so much going on here this afternoon, so much that you don’t understand, but I’ll tell you where I’m coming from. I’ll preach as a dying man to dying men and women and youth. I’ll preach as though I will never preach again, and I will tell you things that you will misunderstand. I will tell you things that make you so angry with me, and I’ll tell you things that you will deny. And I will tell you things and you will say I have no right to tell you what I’m telling you. But before you come to any conclusion about what is being said here this afternoon, you ask yourself one question.

You see, preaching is a very dangerous thing. It’s dangerous for me because the Bible says that
false teachers will undergo greater condemnation. If what I tell you today is not true, I’m in a great deal of trouble and have every right to do this with fear and trembling, because I will stand condemned before God. But if what I tell you today is true, then you’re the one with cause for fear and trembling, because if I correctly interpret this passage of Scripture that I’m going to give you, it is as though God was speaking through a man. Your problem will not be with me; it will be with God and His Word. So, the only question that has to be decided here this afternoon is––Is this man before us a false prophet? Or is he telling us the truth? And if he is telling us the truth, then nothing else matters except conforming our lives to that truth.


Let’s go to the Lord in prayer.

Father . . .Father, I am so small and so pitiful, Father, in so many ways. You know, Lord, You know, though dear God, should false fire be the only thing ever placed on Your altar, or could fire come down from Heaven amidst all the noise and the clamor and the activities . . . could fire come down from Heaven and these dead bones live, You know me. In Your sovereignty, I pray and I beg before the throne of God that You would be gracious to us, that You would open up hearts and minds. Lord, we can’t wait for them to open theirs; they never will. Open up their hearts and minds and cause them to see biblical truth. Breathe on them. Grant them repentance.
Grant them faith. Bring them into Your Kingdom, Lord, for Your own glory, for the sake of Your own great name, do this thing, Lord. As the brother said, let it be so, Lord, so that no man will take credit for it, so that no man will lay his hand to the ark of God and, if he did, that You would strike him down dead, Lord. Oh, God, move among us, please, because we have no other hope. We have no other hope. These children have no other hope except that You move.

Amen.


I’ll be teaching from Matthew chapter 7. If you have your Bibles, follow with me. In Matthew
chapter 7, verse 13, Jesus said:

Enter through the narrow gate for the gate is wide and the way is broad
that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the
gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who
find it.
Beware of the false prophets who come to you in sheep’s clothing but
inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Grapes
are not gathered from thorn bushes, nor figs from thistles, are they? So every
good tree bears good fruit, but every bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree
cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. Every tree
that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then,
you will know them by their fruits.
Not everyone who says to me, Lord, Lord, will enter into the kingdom of
heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven will enter.
Many will say to me on that day, Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your
name and in your name cast out demons and in your name perform many
miracles. Then I will declare to them, I never knew you. Depart from me, you
who practice lawlessness. Therefore, everyone who hears these words of
mine and acts upon them may be compared to a wise man who builds his
house on the rock. And the rain fell and the floods came and the winds blew
and slammed against that house and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded
upon the rock.
Everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act on them will be
like a foolish man who builds his house on the sand. The rain fell and the
floods came and winds blew and slammed against the house and it fell, and
great was its fall.


I stand here today . . . I’m not troubled in my heart about your self-esteem. I’m not troubled in my heart about whether or not you feel good about yourself, whether or not life is turning out like you want it to turn out, or whether or not your checkbook is balanced. There’s only one thing that gave me a sleepless night. There’s only one thing that troubled me all throughout the morning, and this is this. Within a hundred years, a great majority of people in this building will possibly be in hell. And many who even profess Jesus Christ as Lord will spend an eternity in hell.

You say, Pastor, how can you say such a thing? I can say such a thing because I don’t do my Christian work in America. I spend most of my time preaching in South America, in Africa, and Eastern Europe. And I want you to know that, when you take a look at American Christianity, it is based more upon a godless culture than it is upon the Word of God. And so many people are deceived, and so many youth are deceived, and so many adults are deceived into believing that, because they prayed a prayer one time in their life, they’re going to Heaven. And then, when they look around at others who profess to know Christ and see those people also just as worldly as the world, and they compare themselves by themselves, nothing troubles their heart. They think, well, I’m the same as most in my youth group. I watch things I shouldn’t watch on television and laugh about the very things that God hates. I wear clothing that is sensual. I talk like the world. I walk like the world. I love the music of the world. I love so much that’s in the world, but bless God, I am a Christian. Why am I a Christian? I don’t look any different than most of the other people in my church. Why am I a Christian? Because there was a time in my life when I prayed and asked Jesus Christ to come into my heart.

Every messed family!!

This article was inspired by Cheri's piece about her cousin; my mind ran back to a couple of years ago!

Wait, let me allow Cheri to finish clapping for herself!!

The story is about a cousin. Yeah, it is always about cousins. Actually he is an uncle, because he is my mum's cousin. But since he is relatively younger, I prefer to call him cousin...you know, Ugandan style! In Uganda everyone is a cousin.

I remember this dude, a buddy of mine back then in secondary school...we were in a boy's school. And then there was this girl's school not too far from her...that girls' school was the place every guy wanted to date a girl from. Actually, it was generally referred to as ZOO...or sometimes Zoo-zone

This buddy of mine, Vincent, then we were in Form 1 knew some many girls, all the way from Form 1 to Form 6,and he just used to say they are his cousins! Of course he wasn’t going out with them, a young tiny Form 1 kid, with like over 15 cousins in one school. Unbelievable. But anyhow, he was never bullied at school. Older boys needed him to get through to his 'cousins'!

Anyway, back to my own 'cousin' story. You know, after reading a lot of books on globalisation, rise of China, India....global market forces blah blah, I used to religiously tell all my relatives that in a globalised world, competition is always tight, always keep ahead of the pack!

One of own cuzo took my advice too seriously...he became a dad at 16.

Was beaten at my own game! I have vowed never again to pass certain useful pieces of advice anyhow. I now have to carefully decide how I want to tell what to whomever.

PS:By the title, I meant to say every family has a mess somewhere! Perfectionis very elusive.

Rainy days...

I hate England. Not hate, as in hate hate..but i just hate England! You know what i mean? It has the most horrible weather on the face of the earth!
Not only is the wather the most horrible, but it also seems to be quite clever. Theweather actually knows the dates!

Sit tight, let me explain what i mean!!

I was too busy (I still am), working hard, making ends meet as regards my dissertation! Infact too busy to enjoy the summer! Apparently, British summer is the nest time of the year, but I was too busy to notice.....and i will forever rue the missed opportunity!

So, i wake up one morning,some days ago, and a few classmates tell me:

"..summer is officially over! Y'de was the last day of summer"

Iam like "What??!! What d'ya mean?"

"Because its already Sep31st, and according to the calendar, that is he official end of summer"
So i was like, should i agree with these guys, or not!! I walked out of the computercluster, and everything seemed bright! The sun was up. What were these guyst alkingabout? Thye do not know a thing! Do they think they are weather menor something. For God's sakes, they are all a bunchof Chemical engineers..and all they do is.....

Fast forward! Two days later. I wake up in a good mood. Dress up for the summer, t-shirt,sandals and all! Grab my bag, heading for thecomputer cluster! I never even bothered to look through the window of my 7th floor Silver Core apartment!

No sooner, did i step out than I amlost began freezing! Temperatures had dropped by over 15 degrees in two days! I coudnt beleive it.

As i looked through my window now, it seems to be sunny..so deceptively sunner! But other than a few other things in life,never trust the weather in this city! It rans anytime...paka even a guy likeme is learning how to carry an umbrella with me! Well,the proof is that I have now lost a few..left them wherever i went!

Perhaps the most exciting thing thing to ever happen in this city in the last couple of days are the arrival of 1) Berbs..last minute swoop!! 2)The new British record in theform of the baby faced,finger sucking Robinho 3)the money bags ADUG!

Unfortunately(or fourtunately),am a true loyalist, my heart lies in the Emirates!! I gotta get back to work..

Thursday, September 4, 2008

During Final year presentations....

The following happens at various times between 9:30am and 1pm.The venue is a lecture hall. The names may (or may not) have been changed, but the occasion is MSc Project Presentations. The conversions are mainly hand scribbled, on pieces of paper.

Indian guy A: After finishing his presentations, “I am screwed”!!! Will I pass?

African guy: Like I was saying yesterday, you need to convince them about the steps- I think you were not clear on the....

Indian guy A: Will I pass?

African guy: Yeah

Indian guy A: Was I aggressive?

Indian guy A: They asked too many questions!!!

Indian guy A: The reason why they asked you a lot of questions is because you were
not very clear with the multi-period!!

African guy: You answered most of them.

African guy: That is why I did not provide them with handouts. Go to page...blah blah...!!

Indian guy A: Commenting on another guy presenting “He‘s screwed”

Indian guy B: Miriam (not real name) likes bananas!

Indian guy A: Yeah

African guy: So what are you saying? I think everybody likes bananas!!

Indian guy B: I don’t!

Indian guy B: So do you like Frenchy?

African guy: What the hell is that?

African guy: We need to get each others dissertation. Because we might need it in industry.

Thai guy: Fermentation?

African guy: You never know where we will work 5years from now.

African guy: She is preparing her presentation.

After African guy’s presentation....

African guy: I didn’t know JKK would bring up Bhari’s work!

African guy: I actually thought about whether I should include it or not.

During Indian guy D’s presentation

African guy: This dude is taking something from Fang as well.

African guy: Just like a typical Indian, “how much money are we saving?” This guy is screwed!!! Wait for the questions.

African guy: He always interrupts the lecturer. You need to talk to him. It happened during MWK as well.

After Indian guy D’s his presentation

African guy: You should not interrupt the lecturer when he asks you. You wait for him to finish

African guy to Girl A: Too many slides (23), you will need at least 20 minutes.

Indian guy: You need an average of 10 slides

African guy:”Skip the first few. Go straight to Project objectives. “He looks through a certain slide, with a few graphs plotted. “Is this your own results?”

Girl A: Yes

African guy:” You have too many slides, so if they ask you to go to a certain slide, it will take you a very long time to get there.

African guy: Explain why the results are like this. Insert----Slide number.

Thai guy: Spots the list of names in their order of presentation, then writes besides a certain Ahmad.”Who is he?

Indian guy A: Write besides two names.”Distinction!! “”Distinction!!” Then scribbles
besides his name...”Fail”

Disclaimer: Due to the manner in which they were scribbled on paper, the conversation may or may not be in the original order in which they occurred. The reader has the freedom to decipher anything that doesn’t make sense, but the author is not responsible for the meanings that the reader may decipher from this.
PS: As you can see, I had to use the word decipher!! I love English!!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Those dimes.....

Since everyone has been writting stuff, trying to outdo each other in a bid to meet Denis Muhumuza's criteria of a "serious blogger", let me take this opportunity to get my entry in!

This i hope will go along way to set teh agenda for the next level fo interekcho discussions! I hope and beleive, that my post, this post, ladies and gentlemen will fie up your imagination, gain your interest into the things that are happening in this your country, Uganda, which was aptly named " The pearl of Africa" by one Winston Churchill".

For those who do not know him, he was one of the first Prime Minsiters of Britain... er...I do not know exactly whether he was the first, second or third..but he was somewhere there....up there, maybe just in fame..rather than numerical position!
Ok, spare me some slack, i did PCM in high school!

uganda was also badly commercialised in the famous CNN advert as "Gifted by nature!! But they did not go as far to elaborate what this dear country is gufted in!

Therefore let me tajke this opportunity to elucidate, what they could have meant! I might be wrong. But read this....

Where is the Shs11 billion Temangalo land cash going? What about the Shs31 billion NSSF-Alcon International dime flowing? And did i hear someone mention the whooping out Shs 84 billion..for those who do not know maths, that is 120 billion minus 36billions!!!

Conspiracy theorists suggest that, we might see the dimes resurrect in 2011. I hope to be older and wiser then...perhaps maybe to allow my stomach to be played with, but not my head..if am still alive my dear friends!!

Monday, September 1, 2008

When I go crazy...right here!

Damn!
i beleive we can use our blogs to air out our innermost thoguths. To some extent,use it almost diary-of-sorts. Which is true!

And then I came across this aticle by Denis Muhumza which challenged the hell out of me!!

The dude was onto to something when he said this!

He was actually correct to a greater extent. I agree with him when he says that we should use blogs could be sued to dicuss "serious issues", stuff that can change the country and the world we live.
Look at the issues affecting out society..the corruption at every level, the suffering in the North of the country no one has ever mentioned, the "deals" peole are cutting at the highest levels in office. We coudl do something to expose these things! Expose them to the world.

Am I sounding angry? Yeah, thats because i just ventured into the area of holy anger..angry because we see thinsg happening and we say nothing. Some one once said, bad things happen because good men do nothing, they cant even speak about them! We maintain a level of indifference. I am not advocatng for some sort of revolutuon.

Am just saying....uhmmm, do something!!!!!!!!!! I almost said follow your heart or even your conscience, the i aksed myself..of teh two, which one is less darkened!!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Obama: Battle of speeches!

Man, it has been a long wait!

When will Barack Obama come and give his acceptance speech. i know it will be a great speech. I listened to the debut 2004 speech. I rate it as his greatest speech. And then, i rate the Iowa victory as his second most powerful. So, wil this speech overtake the last two?

i know they said it happen at 10pm ET.....somehow that means to 3am where I am!
But somehow i have waited, listend to every speaker.

Ok..its now 01:44am....and Nobel Peace prize winner Al Gore has stepped in, will he finally invite Obama? U know, the big guy Barack will have to be invited by another big guy Gore.

Why is Obama a big guy? He has officially clinched the nomination..happened Wednesday night, Hillary releases all her delegates. They all say, Obama is the MAN! So, really, it was jus ta formality.
So let Gore invite Obama, the guy gives his long awaited speech, and we all go to bed!
Oh wait, there is another bigger guy who will have to invite Obama!

Howard Dean!

Damn, my wait will have to continue. At least i have a dissertation to work on. So i have a reason to stay awake!

Oh, ofcourse Gore is fusing climate change and Obama! So far one quote he has made "I beleive in recyling, but not in this election"

The wait is too long...hope he just shows up now

Thursday, August 21, 2008

When u make it there.....

I was shocked, confused, bewildered,
As I entered Heaven's door.
Not by the beauty of it all,
Nor the lights or its decor.

But it was the folks in Heaven
Who made me sputter and gasp--
The thieves, the liars, the sinners,
The alcoholics and the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade
Who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbor
Who never said anything nice.

Herb, who I always thought
Was rotting away in hell,
Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
Looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, What's the deal?
I would love to hear Your take.
How'd all these sinners get up here?
God must've made a mistake.

And why's everyone so quiet,
So somber - give me a clue.
Hush, child, He said, they're all in shock.
No one thought they'd be seeing you.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

My shirt!!

Finally my new shirt arrived...its neither a Pierre Cadeen (so old, i can nolonger remember the spelling)..andsory it's also not a Tommy Hillfiger (who still wears these shirts anyway?!!).
Its not the latest Hugo Boss-like shirt. And yes, i know Hugo Boss is a famous perfume!!

Though my shirt tarried, it arrived!And the wait has been worth it! Itsall nice, am not sure it manufactured in China....as some arebeginning to think!But then again, who cares?? It is quality!And China rocks...did u watch the opening ceremonyof the Olympics?!

Back to my shirt...........

My shirt has the famous brand Nike on it. And it also has the phrase "FlyEmirates" firmly imprinted on it. Now, for the uncultured ones, Emirates is te name of a famous airline! It was the second after Singapore airlines to fly the superjumbo A380-800 aircraft. UNited Arab Emirates (UAE) is middle easter federation of 7 states, with Dubai as its main city.....

Damn, how did i find myself talking about Dubai? Alright, let me get on with it..
Dubai is most famous for its moden architecture....and its real estates namely the Dubai Palm islands (and beaches). Dubai is also home to one of the largest airports in the world...well, that was before Beijing International airport was built! And Beijing is.......

Sorry, i have to get back to the story line......the SHIRT!

So what was i saying? Yes, by now you should have figured that i was into some kind of sports...that is, or thatwasbefore i lost ye all....with my winding or beating around the bush! I hear "beating about the bush..such a odd weird phrase!! The English should have come up with something better! Do the even have a enough bush to beat about in the West...they should have saved it for Africans! The only Bush i know in the "West" is George W.Bush (father and son) and boym whar have they done to this world!!

So, my shirt has both Nike and Fly Emirats written on it. Its a newly designed shirt, to commerate the 20th anniversaryof some victory at Anfield! I do not wat victory of 2oyears, iwant vicory NOW! Go tell the Le Professor AW.

By now, you have figured that like all men i watch soccer...and like most sane men, i support Arsenal!Why? Because I am a romantic, a purist, i love to watch the beautiful game played as it is supposed to be! So i ordered the brand new edition of first team shirt, and though it tooklonger than necessary to arrive,,,Lo and Behold, i now have it in my hands! With my name written on it! Personalised!Watch me step out in it kesho (2moro).

Now, am beginning to sound like a young boy! Who ever said their is a child in every adult was probably right!!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Asociety at its deathbed!!

A prominent American’s daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and referring to the September 11th 2001 terrorist attack, Jane Clayson asked her. “How could God let something like this happen?”

Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said “I believe God is saddened just as we are, but for years we have been telling God to get out of our schools, get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, he calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessings and protection if we demand that he leave us alone?”

In light of recent events.....terrorist attacks, gun shootings, knife killings, suicide, a generation of children who seek instant gratification, drugs, sex, booze....it is bizarre what is going on.
Some say it started with Madeleine Murray O’Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) who complained that she didn’t want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school.... We said OK. But this is the Bible that says....Thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, but thou shalt love your neighbour as yourself!
Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we should not spank our kids when they misbehave because their little personalities would become warped and we might damage their self-esteem. We agreed with him, because his is an “expert” and therefore he knows what he is talking about. So we said OK, the expert is RIGHT!! But this is this is the same guy whose son ended up committing suicide. I only wish we could wind back the clock and his son lives again.....

Then someone rose up and said teachers and principals should not discipline our children when they misbehave. The school administrators said no faculty member in this school had better touch a student when they misbehave because we do not want any publicity, and we surely don’t want to be sued. But we need to understand that there is a vast difference between disciplining and humiliating, smacking, beating etc. Of course we agreed with the schools...and said Ok, No More disciplining our kids in schools. Yet this is the place where they spend at least 75% percent of their awake/active hours during the day.

Then someone said, let our daughters have abortions if they want. It is their choice. They won’t even have to tell their parents. And we said OK.

Then a school board member rose up and said, since boys will be boys and they are going to do it anyway...why souldntwe just give our sons all the condoms they want so they can have all the fun they desire, and we wont even have to tell their parentsthat they got them from school. And we said OK. We should have instead preached Abstinence until marriage, being faithful to one sexual partner when married...and then condoms should come last in the priotity list.
Then some top elected officials said that it doesn’t matter what we do in private as long as we do our jobs. Agreeing with them, we said it doesn’t matter what the president, minister or any government officials does n private as long as I have a job and the economy is good. Ask the Americans, they have a story to tell. Ask other nations, and they will relate stories of corruption in government offices. It all stems from a desire to satisfy self above all else. We do not care what pain we cause others, as long as we are happy and our immediate needs for self-gratification are met. That carries itself from the private and shows itself in the decisions we make every day.

Then someone said lets’ print magazines with pictures of nude women and call it wholesome, down to earth appreciation for the beauty of the female body. And we said OK. And then we wonder why so many people cheat on their sexual partners! The rates of divorce are so sky high and the innocent children of course are the worst affected by all these.

And then someone else took that appreciation a step further and published pictures of nude children and made them available on the internet. And then we wonder why the cases of paedophilia are ever rising!!

Then the entertainment industry said, let’s make TV shows and movies that promote profanity, violence and illicit sex. Let us record music that encourages rape, drugs suicide and satanic themes. Ad we said “It is just entertainment, it had no adverse effects. Nobody will even take it seriously.” And there we went. Imposing age restrictions or parental guidance will not help. The parents themselves need to be guided most of the times.

So now we ask ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they know right from wrong. But we are the ones who told them that there is neither right nor wrong. We told our kids that they are free to believe whatever they want as long as it works for them. That there is neither right nor wrong. And then we wonder why it doesn’t bother them to kill strangers, their own classmates, and even themselves. The rates of gun and knife related crimes on the streets of London are not only increasing, but even the ages of both the victims and the criminals are decreasing. The gruesomeness of the attacks is getting worse and worse. It is not the government only to blame.

Probably if we think about it long and hard, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with “WE REAP WHAT WE SOW”

Monday, July 28, 2008

Quotable quotes from The Life of David Galed

We spend all our whole lives trying to stop death....eating, inventing, loving, praying, fighting, killing!!
But what do we really know about death? Just that nobody comes back?
But there comes a point in life when your mind outlives its desires, its obsessions, when your habits survive your dreams. And when your loss, maybe death is a gift, you wonder!!!

Taken from the movie, The Life of David Gale.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Every Morning

Every morning in Africa a gazelle wakes up and knows that it will have to outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed.And, every morning in Africa a lion wakes up and knows that it will have to outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death.So, in Africa, it doesn't matter if you are the lion or the gazelle. When that sun comes up, you had better be running.
Author Unknown
This is one those quotes i learnt when i was reading "The World is Flat", written by Thomas Friedman,a colmnist with the New York Time magazine. It challenged me (almost said 'to death') so much. Globalisation is right here, you can now plug and play (not an original phrase) from everywherein this world!
In this world, integration andcollaboration is going to be seen in everything we do. The thing is, that there is no longer anyone to rule...thequestion that i ask myself is, how can i create for myself opportunities! This is a great book, that forces you to think beyond your environs, and start to think of yourself as a global player!!
Problem is....after reading this book, if you rae not careful....u might become more materialistic...u begin to compare yourself with the Indians who are inventing software in Bangalore, then all you think about is "How can i make it?".
Worse still, we are living in a world where people are judged by what they have...which is not right! We should judged more bythe content of our character, our right values etc. We need to read it carefully, think of how we can use the principles of the book to make a tangible difference in the lives of people...and just think f our own skin...and how we can make it thicker!!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Charismatic Revivalism vs. Character Based Renewal

This is an article posted by Andrew Strom online at http://antagoniz.com . I do not know him, neither had i heard of him before. But it was worth a read.

” ICA” APOSTLE SPEAKS OUT ON LAKELAND” Andrew Strom

First, let me start by saying that Robert Ricciardelli has been incredibly bold and courageous in speaking out on this issue in recent days. He is one of the very few from NAR circles who have dared to speak up - firstly on blogs and on the radio - and even on our own Forum at RevivalSchool.com, etc. Robert is a “marketplace apostle” in Peter Wagner’s “International Coalition of Apostles” (ICA). He is the real deal. For him to speak out about Lakeland is a very brave act indeed. Plus he is a Charisma Magazine writer and a friend of Lee Grady.
Last week on July 14th Robert was a guest on Radio KGNW - where he spoke of how he had just come back from Lakeland, and told of his deep concerns and the background research that he had been doing. On July 16th he commented on one Internet blog: “Truth is there are very few people being healed in Lakeland. I have worked with Charisma Magazine editor Lee Grady in discovering how many false reports have been released as facts. These are our brothers and sisters involved in this, but this move of God has been a move of men with God still touching some who come to seek Him.”

On another blog he wrote: “Charisma reporters and a few others like myself have tried to get these verified and cannot… We actually had offered to help, because any news of a resurrection in my opinion is world news if it can be validated. But then when the totals continued to mount which led to hype and embellishment, they began to ask us to stop asking questions. Hmmmm?

“Friday night, Todd said that God said there were 1000 people that were to give $1000, and they were to receive a 1000 fold blessing. The one hour drama on this giving subject was so deceptively evident that it was embarrasing to watch. On top of that, those that would give that money were able to come to the platform to be recognized.”

Concerning the ‘Resurrections’ in Lakeland, Robert wrote: “We have investigated the 20 plus “raised from the dead” claims as we want to report them to the media, and they cannot be verified, but were only called in, or sent in from an email. This is not responsible reporting, and leaves many questions, which also adds to the claims of hype and embellishment.” [~Robert Ricciardelli blog comments - ‘jasonclark.ws’ & ’stevehickey.wordpress.com’]

The hour-long broadcast that Robert did on KGNW is also causing quite a stir as it does the rounds on the Internet

On our own Forum at RevivalSchool.com, Robert publicly added the following comments:

“Peter Wagner and Chuck Pierce nominated me as a marketplace apostle 6 years ago. I threw the title away before I ever got it. I am not into titles, but I am into functions. The Lord told us “yes” to engage, and He was going to show us some truth in the process. Being engaged has given us a great oportunity to see the good, the bad, and the ugly of the apostolic/prophetic movements. The biggest thing along the way is the friends and associates we have met that have a biblical worldview much the same as we do…

“After this year we will pray about next year and so far it looks like the Father is giving us a sense that we may not to be a part of the ICA if Peter and the leadership do not reconsider their impromptu decision to jump into the Lakeland stream, when many of us warned him not to. It was a mistake to coronate, when they needed to father and correct Bentley from the direction he is heading others into. It just put more fuel in his errant tank.

“I am praying for Todd, because he really is an evangelist, and he is a gifted evangelist. But he cannot go on embellishing, speaking untruths, hyping, manipulating, shoving, kicking, slapping, leg dropping, and bamming his way on the pulpit without consequences. God will not be mocked, and Todd and others must answer to Him for everyone led astray.

“The biggest thing about Lakeland is the lack of the fear of our Awesome God, lack of repentance and humility. Many have exchanged the truth for a lie and chosen experience over content. Angels, trances, and 3rd heaven focus has replaced the gospel as a focus… Lord do what only you can do to bring your divine alignment to all of us in Jesus name..” [-end quote]

I took note of the fact that Robert said that “many” had warned Peter Wagner not to jump into the Lakeland stream. I also noted that Robert seemed to be saying that he himself may leave the ICA over this issue. I thanked him publicly for his courage in speaking out, and asked him if there really was a lot of disagree- ment even within Wagner’s own movement?

Robert replied:
“To answer your question, yes there is at least a dozen ICA members that I know of that are extremely concerned at Peter’s endorsement and more to follow as the nonsense continues. The transferring of anointing, the focus on man bringing anything but the gospel is amazing and sad…. if Peter Wagner, Bill Johnson, and some distinguished members of the Who’s Who in Charismania say it is all good, then people just go with it. Some have begun to see the YouTube and other information and begun to change. Some go as far as to claim it as deception, others say it is a move of God that needs correction.

“It is my opinion that it was man orchestrated and demonically influenced from the very beginning. The worship has been good and Roy Fields is an awesome worship leader, so many in the worship and even watching from afar can sense God in the worship of His people. The truth is God has been engaged in the worship and has touched and healed some. This is why it has been so confusing to some. I have heard that Roy Fields has stated a few times that when the worship ends, God’s presence leaves the platform, and then Todd Bentley operates void of His presence. That is why most all of what they have claimed cannot be verified, because it just is not happening.

“We have heard a few people getting well, being touched and so on. There is a church here in North Carolina that brought 27 sick down there for a week. Some with cancer, leukemia, diabetes and such. None got healed and most were worse when they came back. The emperor is not wearing any clothes and the truth must be known. Many are claiming that Todd is the new thing that God is doing. The fact is he is still operating in the old thing, and operating with less integrity and character than the previous one man shows.

“God is about nameless and faceless people who are operating without any agenda but the Lord’s. Preaching about the King and His Kingdom, and moving supernaturally after Him, and as they do, signs and wonders follow. The problem in Charismania is that they seek the sign, they seek the thrill, they seek the craft supply quality gold dust, feathers and gems. They may get the chills and frills, but leave with nothing more than goose bumps and really little spiritual change. When they seek the King, the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, you begin to see transformation take place at the heart level. This is God’s way and always has been… Bentley is just a product of the Charismatic/ apostolic/ prophetic trending away from Plumb line truth. At the same time the fact is, none of us amount to much, no not one. But in Him and dying to self and living His agenda, we can move mountains… The church is getting there, I wrote an article for Charisma that everything that can be shaken is being shaken, and this is what is happening in a great way right now…” [end quote]

Friends, please write to Robert encouraging him if you can for the courageous stand he is taking. See more of his comments + links to his article & radio show on the ‘Scrolling Forum’ at the following website (main page) - http://www.revivalschool.com

Transformation

“PEOPLE DO NOT drift toward holiness.
Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness,
prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord.
We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance;
we drift toward disobedience and call it freedom;
we drift toward superstition and call it faith.
We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation;
we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking
we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness
and convince ourselves we have been liberated.”

-D. A. Carson, For the Love of God

Transformation is not a one time event, it takes place with time. But is an effort that is driven byth garce of God. It does not happen entirely becasue of our efforts, lest we start to feel proud and feel that we deservesalvation. and somehowGodowes us something because we have proved ourselves. Infact God doesnt owe us anything, he already gave His life for us.

Contrary to what people claim...that you know if we accept Jesus into our hearts, then all will be well in our lives, we will become rich, we shall get job promotions..etc! That is not true! The nly reason why we shouldcome to God isbecause we are sinners who need to besaved by Him.

We owe him everything. Our lives,our breath, our ambitions..everything! And the true test is when, we are willing to accept God and trust in Him, even if everything around us seems bleak! Even if trusting in Him means that we stand to lose everything. Now, this doesnt take place overnight! We need to grow in our faith in Him aswe know more about Him by the day. Infact, it is as He reveals himself to us everyday!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

It cant be good for your health!!

I have realised that however much we do....only God can do His work in a man's heart!
Picture this...u have done many Bible studies with this man.....and you get this feeling that perhaps some progress is being made in his life!

Then of all a sudden, we were discussing the danger of porn.....and the man takes a position that pornography is not actually a bad thing! My heart bled, i wanted to cry.....i rushed to my room and wanted to cry!

Ijust concluded that only God can do a work in a man's heart! It is not about us, it is about Him. How can you say you are a christian, and still claim that pornography is not bad..it can be looked at as just an art! May God help us.

The facts are simple....if a man watches pornography, he will begin to look at women in a different light....more as sex objects! He no longer sees a woman as a nother human being with whom he can relate to.

We are living in a generation that has lost its sense of direction...whoever said Generation X.

Friday, March 14, 2008

THE LONG RUN : Free-spirited wanderer set Obama’s path

What is best in me I owe to her,’ candidate has said of his idealistic mother
By Janny Scott (The New York Times) March 14, 2008
In the capsule version of the Barack Obama story, his mother is simply the white woman from Kansas. The phrase comes coupled alliteratively to its counterpart, the black father from Kenya. On the campaign trail, he has called her his “single mom.” But neither description begins to capture the unconventional life of Stanley Ann Dunham Soetoro, the parent who most shaped Mr. Obama.

Kansas was merely a way station in her childhood, wheeling westward in the slipstream of her furniture-salesman father. In Hawaii, she married an African student at age 18. Then she married an Indonesian, moved to Jakarta, became an anthropologist, wrote an 800-page dissertation on peasant blacksmithing in Java, worked for the Ford Foundation, championed women’s work and helped bring microcredit to the world’s poor.
She had high expectations for her children. In Indonesia, she would wake her son at 4 a.m. for correspondence courses in English before school; she brought home recordings of Mahalia Jackson, speeches by the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. And when Mr. Obama asked to stay in Hawaii for high school rather than return to Asia, she accepted living apart — a decision her daughter says was one of the hardest in Ms. Soetoro’s life.
“She felt that somehow, wandering through uncharted territory, we might stumble upon something that will, in an instant, seem to represent who we are at the core,” said Maya Soetoro-Ng, Mr. Obama’s half-sister. “That was very much her philosophy of life — to not be limited by fear or narrow definitions, to not build walls around ourselves and to do our best to find kinship and beauty in unexpected places.”

Ms. Soetoro, who died of ovarian cancer in 1995, was the parent who raised Mr. Obama, the Illinois senator running for the Democratic presidential nomination. He barely saw his father after the age of 2. Though it is impossible to pinpoint the imprint of a parent on the life of a grown child, people who knew Ms. Soetoro well say they see her influence unmistakably in Mr. Obama.
They were close, her friends and his half-sister say, though they spent much of their lives with oceans or continents between them. He would not be where he is today, he has said, had it not been for her. Yet he has also made some different choices — marrying into a tightly knit African-American family rooted in the South Side of Chicago, becoming a churchgoing Christian, publicly recounting his search for his identity as a black man.

Some of what he has said about his mother seems tinged with a mix of love and regret. He has said his biggest mistake was not being at her bedside when she died. And when The Associated Press asked the candidates about “prized keepsakes” — others mentioned signed baseballs, a pocket watch, a “trophy wife” — Mr. Obama said his was a photograph of the cliffs of the South Shore of Oahu in Hawaii where his mother’s ashes were scattered.

“I think sometimes that had I known she would not survive her illness, I might have written a different book — less a meditation on the absent parent, more a celebration of the one who was the single constant in my life,” he wrote in the preface to his memoir, “Dreams From My Father.” He added, “I know that she was the kindest, most generous spirit I have ever known, and that what is best in me I owe to her.”
In a campaign in which Senator John McCain, the presumptive Republican nominee, has made liberal use of his globe-trotting 96-year-old mother to answer suspicions that he might be an antique at 71, Mr. Obama, who declined to be interviewed for this article, invokes his mother’s memory sparingly. In one television advertisement, she appears fleetingly — porcelain-skinned, raven-haired and holding her toddler son. “My mother died of cancer at 53,” he says in the ad, which focuses on health care. “In those last painful months, she was more worried about paying her medical bills than getting well.”
‘A very, very big thinker’
He has described her as a teenage mother, a single mother, a mother who worked, went to school and raised children at the same time. He has credited her with giving him a great education and confidence in his ability to do the right thing. But, in interviews, friends and colleagues of Ms. Soetoro shed light on a side of her that is less well known.
“She was a very, very big thinker,” said Nancy Barry, a former president of Women’s World Banking, an international network of microfinance providers, where Ms. Soetoro worked in New York City in the early 1990s. “I think she was not at all personally ambitious, I think she cared about the core issues, and I think she was not afraid to speak truth to power.”

Her parents were from Kansas — her mother from Augusta, her father from El Dorado, a place Mr. Obama first visited in a campaign stop in January. Stanley Ann (her father wanted a boy so he gave her his name) was born on an Army base during World War II. The family moved to California, Kansas, Texas and Washington in restless pursuit of opportunity before landing in Honolulu in 1960.
Brief marriage
In a Russian class at the University of Hawaii, she met the college’s first African student, Barack Obama. They married and had a son in August 1961, in an era when interracial marriage was rare in the United States. Her parents were upset, Senator Obama learned years later from his mother, but they adapted. “I am a little dubious of the things that people from foreign countries tell me,” the senator’s grandmother told an interviewer several years ago.
The marriage was brief. In 1963, Mr. Obama left for Harvard, leaving his wife and child. She then married Lolo Soetoro, an Indonesian student. When he was summoned home in 1966 after the turmoil surrounding the rise of Suharto, Ms. Soetoro and Barack followed.

Those choices were not entirely surprising, said several high school friends of Ms. Soetoro, whom they remembered as unusually intelligent, curious and open. She never dated “the crew-cut white boys,” said one friend, Susan Blake: “She had a world view, even as a young girl. It was embracing the different, rather than that ethnocentric thing of shunning the different. That was where her mind took her.”
Her second marriage faded, too, in the 1970s. Ms. Soetoro wanted to work, one friend said, and Mr. Soetoro wanted more children. He became more American, she once said, as she became more Javanese. “There’s a Javanese belief that if you’re married to someone and it doesn’t work, it will make you sick,” said Alice G. Dewey, an anthropologist and friend. “It’s just stupid to stay married.”

That both unions ended is beside the point, some friends suggested. Ms. Soetoro remained loyal to both husbands and encouraged her children to feel connected to their fathers. (In reading drafts of her son’s memoir, Mr. Obama has said, she did not comment upon his depiction of her but was “quick to explain or defend the less flattering aspects of my father’s character.”)

“She always felt that marriage as an institution was not particularly essential or important,” said Nina Nayar, who later became a close friend of Ms. Soetoro. What mattered to her, Ms. Nayar said, was to have loved deeply.
‘Wearied of being new all over again’
By 1974, Ms. Soetoro was back in Honolulu, a graduate student and raising Barack and Maya, nine years younger. Barack was on scholarship at a prestigious prep school, Punahou. When Ms. Soetoro decided to return to Indonesia three years later for her field work, Barack chose not to go.
“I doubted what Indonesia now had to offer and wearied of being new all over again,” he wrote in his memoir. “More than that, I’d arrived at an unspoken pact with my grandparents: I could live with them and they’d leave me alone so long as I kept my trouble out of sight.” During those years, he was “engaged in a fitful interior struggle. I was trying to raise myself to be a black man in America.” Ms. Soetoro-Ng recalled her mother’s quandary. “She wanted him to be with her,” Ms. Soetoro-Ng said. But she added: “Although it was painful to be separated from him for his last four years of high school, she recognized that it was perhaps the best thing for him. And she had to go to Indonesia at that time.”

That time apart was hard for both mother and son.
“She longed for him,” said Georgia McCauley, who became a friend of Ms. Soetoro in Jakarta. Barack spent summers and Christmas vacations with his mother; they communicated by letters, his illustrated with cartoons. Her first topic of conversation was always her son, her female friends said. As for him, he was grappling with questions of racial identity, alienation and belonging.

“There were certainly times in his life in those four years when he could have used her presence on a more daily basis,” Ms. Soetoro-Ng said. “But I think he did all right for himself.”

Fluent in Indonesian, Ms. Soetoro moved with Maya first to Yogyakarta, the center of Javanese handicrafts. A weaver in college, she was fascinated with what Ms. Soetoro-Ng calls “life’s gorgeous minutiae.” That interest inspired her study of village industries, which became the basis of her 1992 doctoral dissertation.
“She loved living in Java,” said Dr. Dewey, who recalled accompanying Ms. Soetoro to a metalworking village. “People said: ‘Hi! How are you?’ She said: ‘How’s your wife? Did your daughter have the baby?’ They were friends. Then she’d whip out her notebook and she’d say: ‘How many of you have electricity? Are you having trouble getting iron?’ ”

She became a consultant for the United States Agency for International Development on setting up a village credit program, then a Ford Foundation program officer in Jakarta specializing in women’s work. Later, she was a consultant in Pakistan, then joined Indonesia’s oldest bank to work on what is described as the world’s largest sustainable microfinance program, creating services like credit and savings for the poor.

Visitors flowed constantly through her Ford Foundation office in downtown Jakarta and through her house in a neighborhood to the south, where papaya and banana trees grew in the front yard and Javanese dishes like opor ayam were served for dinner. Her guests were leaders in the Indonesian human rights movement, people from women’s organizations, representatives of community groups doing grass-roots development.
“I didn’t know a lot of them and would often ask after, ‘Who was that?’ ” said David S. McCauley, now an environmental economist at the Asian Development Bank in Manila, who had the office next door. “You’d find out it was the head of some big organization in with thousands of members from central Java or someplace, somebody that she had met some time ago, and they would make a point of coming to see her when they came to Jakarta.”

An exacting idealist
As a mother, Ms. Soetoro was both idealistic and exacting. Friends describe her as variously informal and intense, humorous and hardheaded. She preached to her young son the importance of honesty, straight talk, independent judgment. When he balked at her early-morning home schooling, she retorted, “This is no picnic for me either, buster.”
When Barack was in high school, she confronted him about his seeming lack of ambition, Mr. Obama wrote. He could get into any college in the country, she told him, with just a little effort. (“Remember what that’s like? Effort?”) He says he looked at her, so earnest and sure of his destiny: “I suddenly felt like puncturing that certainty of hers, letting her know that her experiment with me had failed.”

Ms. Soetoro-Ng, who herself became an anthropologist, remembers conversations with her mother about philosophy or politics, books, esoteric Indonesian woodworking motifs. One Christmas in Indonesia, Ms. Soetoro found a scrawny tree and decorated it with red and green chili peppers and popcorn balls.

“She gave us a very broad understanding of the world,” her daughter said. “She hated bigotry. She was very determined to be remembered for a life of service and thought that service was really the true measure of a life.” Many of her friends see her legacy in Mr. Obama — in his self-assurance and drive, his boundary bridging, even his apparent comfort with strong women. Some say she changed them, too.
“I feel she taught me how to live,” said Ms. Nayar, who was in her 20s when she met Ms. Soetoro at Women’s World Banking. “She was not particularly concerned about what society would say about working women, single women, women marrying outside their culture, women who were fearless and who dreamed big.”

The final months
After her diagnosis, Ms. Soetoro spent the last months of her life in Hawaii, near her mother. (Her father had died.) Mr. Obama has recalled talking with her in her hospital bed about her fears of ending up broke. She was not ready to die, he has said. Even so, she helped him and Maya “push on with our lives, despite our dread, our denials, our sudden constrictions of the heart.”
She died in November 1995, as Mr. Obama was starting his first campaign for public office. After a memorial service at the University of Hawaii, one friend said, a small group of friends drove to the South Shore in Oahu. With the wind whipping the waves onto the rocks, Mr. Obama and Ms. Soetoro-Ng placed their mother’s ashes in the Pacific, sending them off in the direction of Indonesia.

Copyright © 2008 The New York Times